Glitter Ain’t Welcome Here

I hate glitter. Actually, I LOATHE glitter. I can’t possibly understand why this craft accessory was created. It.Sticks.To.Everything. And the things multiply. I swear they do. Let one glitter particle enter your house and you end up with them everywhere.

When The Little Girl was a toddler, we did lots of crafts. Lots. It was the only thing that kept us both sane. I don’t claim to be crafty at all but I can copy real well. I’m pretty sure we have done almost every craft that has been posted on this site (also known as a gift from the stay-at-home-mom fairies). I wanted Missy Prissy to be able to experience all mediums that go with art and I suppose that included glitter. I monitored the glitter use very carefully and there was even a box that went under our project to help keep the sparklies contained.

I distinctly remember the day I reached my breaking point with glitter. It wasn’t my finest moment as a mom. We had just gotten home from a vacation. You know the kind. The vacation where you come home more exhausted than before you left. The kind where you were in a rush to leave and had to leave the house in less than stellar condition. The kind where you conveniently forgot about all of life’s troubles but the stress of life swarms the moment you declare, “We’re home.” Yeah, it was that kind of trip. We hadn’t been home even an hour when The Little Girl obtained the silver glitter and poured it out. I was stressed already and the sparkly stuff sent me over the edge. I screamed. I cried. I was a hot mess. As I said, NOT one of my finer parenting moments.

But, from that point on, glitter was a bad word around our house. Everyone knew that Mama didn’t do glitter. I think Missy Prissy missed glitter a bit. Over the last year, she has gushed over any crafts they did at school which involved glitter. She would proudly show them off. I would ooh and ahh right along with her until bedtime when said craft would have an unfortunate encounter with the trash can. I know. I know. I’m not winning any mother of the year awards with this post, am I?

Apparently, the memory of the infamous glitter incident was starting to fade because my favorite preschooler felt the need to do THIS ….

…. while I was in the shower! To make matters worse (although sweet), The Little Girl did try her very best to clean it up. However, the spray cleaner just caused it to stick worse. My blood pressure was rising but I can say that I responded much better this time. No screaming. No yelling. No crying clump of mom in the kitchen floor. I had a much better idea. I grabbed a Ziploc bag and packed up every last container of glitter I could find. I told my dear daughter that if she wanted to do glitter she could do it at school. We made a rather large glitter donation to preschool that day. I’m sure they LOVE me right about now.

Mwuhahahahaha!