Health,  My Life,  Yoga

Hot Yoga (the funny update)

I’ve been back on my mat for about a month now. I thought now would be a good time to tell you some facts about hot yoga that you may not have known. These should all be taken with a grain of salt and a good sense of humor. 😉

  • Don’t come to class expecting something because I guarantee you it will NOT be what you expect. Each and every class is different.
  • Hot yoga is the only place I know of that you can sweat log your ear. You know, kinda like swimmer’s ear, but with sweat. Sounds delightful, right?!
  • Down dog really does the come your rest. Until you’ve been holding it for 3+ minutes. Then it’s not.
  • Vinyasa only sounds cool in theory.
  • P90X ain’t got nothin on hot yoga. Muscle confusion, eat your heart out.
  • They don’t call it Trikonasana for nothing. The root word sounds a whole lot like “tricky” to me.
  • When your teacher asks, “wouldn’t it be nice to sit down in a chair right now?” you think yes but you should say no. Won’t matter. You’re gonna have to do it anyway.
  • Did you know there’s a little tiny muscle right on top of your elbow? Me either. Yoga introduced us. I can’t say that it was a pleasant meeting.
  • Bringing your teachers chocolate chip zucchini bread will not get you out of chairs or chaturangas. Just sayin.
  • Hot yoga is not all stretchy, stretchy. It’s major cardio, dude.
  • You know it’s hot when you break a sweat after simply setting up your mat.
  • You may find yourself trying to “control your breath” in real life, like, in the heat of the “moment.” Not recommended.
  • Teachers are subject to change without notice.
  • Once you learn to stack, you never want to go back.
  • Sometimes you find yourself in a pretty tough class but the playlist totally rocks and all is right with the world again.
  • There comes a point in every class where you wonder “why did I sign up for this again?”
  • The cold aromatherapy at the end (and the final savasana) somehow magically erase the previous thought and you keep coming back.
  • I had to Google how to spell half of these words and there are about five different meanings for Namaste.
  • On week 1, yoga was 10% mental & 90% physical. The longer I go, the more those numbers start to reverse.
  • Going to class is much better than doing a video. Plus, you get the added bonus of the cold wash cloth. 🙂
  • Hot yoga really is about the only place in the world where it is all about me! Not kidding.
Come back tomorrow and I’ll give you the serious update on how the last 30 days have changed me for the better. For real.


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