Hot Yoga (the funny update)

I’ve been back on my mat for about a month now. I thought now would be a good time to tell you some facts about hot yoga that you may not have known. These should all be taken with a grain of salt and a good sense of humor. 😉

• Don’t come to class expecting something because I guarantee you it will NOT be what you expect. Each and every class is different.
• Hot yoga is the only place I know of that you can sweat log your ear. You know, kinda like swimmer’s ear, but with sweat. Sounds delightful, right?!
• Down dog really does the come your rest. Until you’ve been holding it for 3+ minutes. Then it’s not.
• Vinyasa only sounds cool in theory.
• P90X ain’t got nothin on hot yoga. Muscle confusion, eat your heart out.
• They don’t call it Trikonasana for nothing. The root word sounds a whole lot like “tricky” to me.
• When your teacher asks, “wouldn’t it be nice to sit down in a chair right now?” you think yes but you should say no. Won’t matter. You’re gonna have to do it anyway.
• Did you know there’s a little tiny muscle right on top of your elbow? Me either. Yoga introduced us. I can’t say that it was a pleasant meeting.
• Bringing your teachers chocolate chip zucchini bread will not get you out of chairs or chaturangas. Just sayin.
• Hot yoga is not all stretchy, stretchy. It’s major cardio, dude.
• You know it’s hot when you break a sweat after simply setting up your mat.
• You may find yourself trying to “control your breath” in real life, like, in the heat of the “moment.” Not recommended.
• Teachers are subject to change without notice.
• Once you learn to stack, you never want to go back.
• Sometimes you find yourself in a pretty tough class but the playlist totally rocks and all is right with the world again.
• There comes a point in every class where you wonder “why did I sign up for this again?”
• The cold aromatherapy at the end (and the final savasana) somehow magically erase the previous thought and you keep coming back.
• I had to Google how to spell half of these words and there are about five different meanings for Namaste.
• On week 1, yoga was 10% mental & 90% physical. The longer I go, the more those numbers start to reverse.
• Going to class is much better than doing a video. Plus, you get the added bonus of the cold wash cloth. 🙂
• Hot yoga really is about the only place in the world where it is all about me! Not kidding.